2008: Sarah Palin

Just a brief post here. I thought I'd play a little game. Sarah Palin is a vice presidential candidate, and, well, I've kind of harbored a little bit of a desire to run for office later in my life. But I'm worried. Would I be qualified? Would I be the sort of person that John McCain could turn to for advice?

I have no experience in public office. I am still studying for an undergraduate degree in college (studying Drama and Theater Production). My best executive experience was directing a play last year (on a budget of $300, and with a cast of 7 and a crew of 6). So, clearly, my credentials are not quite as good as Sarah Palin's.

But then I thought further. And I realized that I am more qualified than Sarah Palin in several fields.

• Foreign Policy Experience: I was born as a passport holder. I travelled to Israel every year--and stopped in plenty of European countries every year! That means my family lives in Israel--and they're neighbors with Syria and Lebanon. So I keep an eye on Syria and Lebanon, which means that I guess I'm pretty qualified in their affairs.
• Knowledge of Law: Sarah Palin could name one Supreme Court Case: Roe v. Wade. I can name Roe v. Wade, but I can also name the more accurately applicable Supreme Court Case (Casey v. Planned Parenthood) which changed Roe v. Wade's absolute protection of abortion into a more qualified one. How about the Dredd Scott case, which ruled that African-Americans were not human beings under the law, and couldn't sue--and that property transported over state lines remains the property of the owner, regardless of law? Or how about Plessy v. Fergussen, which ruled that "separate but equal" was the prevailing standard, and Brown v. Board of Education, which overturned it? What about Marbury v. Madison, which established Judicial Review? Cherokee Nation v. Georgia, which ruled that the Cherokee Nation had the rights to their land--but was overturned informally by Andrew Jackson's "You've made your decision, now let you enforce it?" Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree. I'm clearly qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice, at this rate. John McCain: make me your Harriet Myers.
• Following of the News: Sarah Palin was unable to name any newspapers or magazines she follows current events in. Here's mine:
  --Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish
  --Michael J Totten's blog
  --Google News' roundup (which includes the major newspapers, AP, Reuters, the major networks, etc.)
  --The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Bugle (three major satirical news programs; the latter from overseas)
  --BoingBoing (a technology / libertarian blog)
  --Slashdot (news for geeks)
  --15 or so Art Blogs
  --Prague Post/Prague Daily Monitor (I'm in Prague right now)
  --The official updates of Representatives Carolyn Maloney and John Campbell (my two representatives)
  --Lawrence Lessig's blog
  --Creative Commons' blog
  --SCOTUS Blog (updates on the Supreme Court)

That's about it. Clearly, from my resume, you can see that I'm as qualified to be the Vice Presidential candidate. Also, I can bring in the Jewish vote, the young vote, and the purely hypothetical vote, because I'd never accept a position as your running mate.